Black woman aren’t hot comment .. and the mess that exploded from it

( A post I mostly wrote  probably late last year)

You can watch the video here


I found the video on the Facebook  page of  a highly controversial guy

I’m an African American woman ( Nigerian American ). What a mess he put himself in. Maybe, he has some prejudices that he wasn’t aware of , I don’t know

Is two year suspension harsh? yes. Is it justified I don’t know. All I know is that what he did was hurtful to many black woman. That being said, its important that these girls believe they are beautiful no matter what “they” say

Unfortunately it takes  stuff look this for people to understand this is not a joke. We literally have a  study saying we are the least attractive woman on earth, add to that the media rarely portrays us… white woman are portrayed to look like goddesses.

Perhaps he really just made a dumb mistake..That being said, its important that these girls believe they are beautiful no matter what “they” say… why should we care what they think? Nevertheless some woman don’t know this and to say these like what he did doesn’t help the problem.. he probably doesn’t find black woman hot..but maybe he should have just kept that to himself…he doesn’t have to date African American woman.

I agree that a discussion could have been  conducted after the the guy who wrote  posted the comment was revealed…maybe some misunderstandings could be addressed..perhaps the guy could explain his side of the story and the black girls their side of the story and then maybe they could have come to an understanding of what is and what is not ok.

I am not sure why the black woman here though thought it  was weird the guy who posted the comment came. Why? Well we heard his side of the story , why he came and according to him, it didn’t seem to be for a twisted reason..Again another issue, the result of lack of communication , and hearing the other side story..


Uh ? !?

So I went to church this morning and after service I met with this other young lady who interestingly enough is in a similar position as I.

We are:

  1. Both 29
  2. Have pre-med background
  3. Went to Postgraduate school in a biological field ( though different area)
  4. Both like creative stuff like art( though maybe the art we like or like doing is different)

I was technically suppose to have done the mcat by now  and been applying to med school this year.

Here’t the thing: I don’t feel assured to go that path. However hearing her tell me today that she signed up for the mcat, stirred me up to do the same.  We talked about other stuff related to med school. We talked marriage and kids( we are both single) . I told her she may find her husband and med school. I told her about how I wasn’t set about going to med school. I feel for a career like this one should “count the cost” so to speak .I mean it’s just wisdom to really seek the Father about the matter. Diligently. and that’s what I should do. I mean personally I’v considered other things that I could do.

I wonder if she is rushing into going to med school. She told me some time before that  she likes art  and that her brother does too but its not something you can make money from (not true but I understand why she feels that way).  I wonder if there is something else she’d rather do.  I can’t help to think she may not be thinking this through. I guess a good thing to do would be to pray for her. Perhaps her going to med school or even an md/phd  may be the right thing for her; maybe she does want to be doctor.  I feel I’ve been advised ( serendipitously)  to do according to what this article says.

as concerning things I may want to do.

So yeah the thing is I was really feeling stirred to study for the mcat, to perhaps apply this year. It’s like I got caught up what she was doing. But am I suppose to study for mcat now? Anyway I should perhaps follow this wisdom here:

Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to GodAnd the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

There are reasons why for why I’ve thought perhaps I should go into the medical field, perhaps even being a physician.  But despite  those things that may be proof that I should go into the medical field, I still feel maybe I could be doing other things. However,   I feel concerning the highest dream I have the motives may be off, may be wrong 😬







“Cash me outside” Danielle bregoli

So, in a stunning twist of events..well perhaps not too surprising, a young teen girl has garnered world wide an attention and fame through her out of the mill raucous behavior and catch phrase she picked up from the streets, “Cash me outside, Howbow dah”.

Currently, she has over a million followers on Instagram and also quite a following on facebook as well.

It seems almost unfair, or messed up that out of brash attitude she’s become something sort of an internet icon or caricature.  Well, interestingly enough just when you thought what did she do to get this? , I found out through her facebook page that when she was younger her mom was diagnosed with cancer ; she would help her single mom through the treatments. They’ve suffered.  She didn’t choose to live with only one parent. Maybe her mom is at fault for hindering a proper good relationship to be built between Danielle and her dad;maybe it’s not the mom fault. I don’t know  for sure nor have I researched the matter well.

Perhaps because she was a supportive daughter when she was younger, she’s being given this platform today, maybe its not because of that *¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *

Either way I thought it was sweet and good that she helped her mom through that. I found out later that her mom has had cancer twice before. So perhaps she has been there for her mom twice when she has had cancer.

Anyway the point of this post, is a clarion call, shout out to Danielle. You’ve been given an  opportunity, a platform. Having been born out of perhaps one of the unlikeliest of circumstances. You could use this opportunity to change your life , this platform to dole out positivity , good vibes and love; to be a better example for teen girls out there. You can use it to bring light attention to something that is dear and close to your heart, maybe a organization, a project you are working on.  You could use it to to help other people.

sharing the deep recesses of your heart..with…

So at small group meeting.  The topic was about meeting God’s match for you . One of the pastors and his wife shared their story of being single and at last meeting each other.

Interestingly enough weeks ago. I was reawakened to a powerful hex, that a person can put on another when they, really open up their heart to you, about how they feel about something that is affecting them badly or hurting them.d

Years ago, a classmate, shared something in that sort of way ,an my response.. was like I wanted to take care of it was this visceral perhaps natural response that I had not been aware of before. I guess I can see  how that can build genuine care in friend relationships.

Recently, I was talking to a guy online via facebook voice.  He talked for awhile, I said some stuff. To be honest we have some views that would probably make us incompatible.

But one thing that pretty much made me feel like I has emotional soul tie with him was the fact that during the conversation he related that he had had a bad day. I trying to be caring and sweet. Was like, do you want to talk about it?  So he related about how his dad was treating him and I guess like verbally abusing him and saying things like how ill you start a business with no money. He told me his dad is an alcoholic. So I was like I just felt he was cute by sharing that. and I had this perhaps feminine  response to want to take care of him hold him, and just want to bring him back to life.

Like seriously after that conversation ..  I eventually went online to find out about it and eventually discovered about disclosure and how long lasting relationships can be built from it.

So at this meeting husband shared that he was having all these girls vying for his love and affection and he was perplexed as to why or what do about it, he shared this with a pastor and the pastor let him know its because he was sharing intimate things with them, sharing his heart.

Baically, he then realized why and let the people in there know that I guess especially to guys not to share your heart, if its too intimate you may have crossed the line. He was like that should be for marriage. Like his wife, like to know how his day has been going and for hiim to share it with her; he said woman feel valued and affection when a guy shares their inner world with him.

I guess woman should be warned about this for I too was really like a little lovestruck because of what that guy shared.  I am not wi

What I should stop doing

Recently I was at a small group meeting for young people in church ( I am not that young btw, I’m one of the older people in the group).  We were all sitting like around a  big table and one of the leaders  was asking around , to people like what the highlight of their week was. Well I related a dream about how I I felt it was revealed to me that like I can’t depend on people to change my life I need to like be self determined ( setting and planning how to achieve goals is a part of that) .

Well, he was like well how did that change something in your life. I don’t remember the exact phrasing but basically to me it was like I was being made conscious  of  -was there any tangible fruit of lasting consequence?

Did this really help?  He probably wasn’t trying to come across that way. Maybe  him being from another country with english not being his first language, he was trying to understand what I meant. But I felt kind of like not good about it . Because in actuality, I’ve heard and received a lot of counsel, but what fruit has it in my life? I mean its like stupidity. To be honest, I guess I haven’t applied it right or barely at all. I’m really struggling with my attempt to do a lot in a little time and this addiction I have to facebook doesn’t help.

I mean I will seek God about it because for many people what’s  important is that when you applied counsel or did  certain actions , did it effect permanent good change in your life?

So I  mean I can share counsel I’ve heard spiritually but currently the fruit department is perhaps not where it should or could be.