Update..graphic design..music production

I thought that I would not continue with graphic design courses at the local community college.  I could learn it on my own.

Then I got fired from a job full time job in July. It didn’t pay great but it was better than what i’d ever had before. After being fired, I panicked and for some reasons, I decided I’d go to the local community college full time.

It was not easy. Two were online. One would think online is easier, but I got waaaaaaaay behind. Painfully behind. Because I would not watch the class live online. I hated watching classes after 7:00 pm. I’d instead decide to watch them “later”. There are videos I haven’t watched yet and the semester is over. Though those videos were like the last class(es) so technically they may have not been needed for the final assignments. There maybe like three videos I haven’t watched yet  2 from one class and 1 from another class.

Add to the drama of full time classes, a part time job that was crappy for me, you’ve got a recipe for hell on earth especially for someone still not perfect at time management. I ran into serious problems this season. Thank God the classes have ended, unfortunately I still have the job…you may ask why not quit and get another one.. * rolls eyes and sighs*

On the other hand, the classes did help me learn adobe programs. Literally every class had an adobe product attached to it. Lightroom.Photoshop. Illustrator. Premier.

So its great that I’ve sort of got something like a foundation upon which to build or create something. Creative content. Nevertheless there is this one dragon I’ve been trying to lay a hold off. I feel like a guy trying to hold or grab ahold of a dragon by the neck, that’s crazily moving its head back and forth. I’m trying to lay hold of it but I guess it feels like it’s hard for me to get grasp or hold on it, maybe it keeps slipping, gliding from my hand.

The dragon is music production and what other things that entail it. I’d care to learn piano, and guitar too. I mean I know that there are people who taught themselves how to play more than one instrument. Music theory seems like something I should learn a bit of too.

I seem to be up against several things stopping me from grasping it. When one is worried about finances and not pulling it in enough money to cover all their bills, it’s hard to concentrate on something that isn’t going to bring in money soon. I feel like I’ve got to get money soon ..it’s really, really bad like it’s getting near where it could turn into an emergency.

Unfortunately I wasn’t my own man and got degrees and a whole lot of school debt, for subjects that I probably shouldn’t have studied…

Advertisements

What to do now

sunset-2513820_1920

Sooooooo I am trying to figure out what kind of of job would be suitable for me. A job  that fits my personality, background, and spirit.  I have ideas of what that could be ( its creative related) however at this moment I’m not well practiced in those areas. Or I could just collaborate with others that are stronger in the areas in which I am weak.

I’ve applied to jobs in the field ( biology) but I’m not really interested in working as a lab tech.

I really wanted to do music production. .. for some reason I am not able to get a plan routine to learn skills needed to produce music. Or perhaps I am narrow minded in that it has to be done “this was” ( I want to learn music theory first, learn some instruments or at least one instrument for now) but at the same time I feel pressure to get income as soon as possible. It’d be great to get paid for producing original songs, but my experience ( music production wise) is fairly limited.  Perhaps I need to be realistic of what I could do now..

Yes, I could work with a producer but I am heavily influenced or inspired to be like Adam Young who produces most of his songs. Perhaps though if I did deeper its an ego thing. To want to be able to know that a piece of art or incredible awe inspiring moving song came from me.. OR of course I could just for now get a producer and then later on could work on producing myself. :/  Of course getting a producer to work on some music for you costs money. But obviously a well produced ep or album would be worth it..

To be honest I want to learn to do a lot of things by myself eg. videos, art pieces using adobe software and of course music production, perhaps with my vocals. Maybe I guess because I have different things I’d like to do that it feels difficult to know where to start. Also other things that or on my mind and situations I’m in.

I think there maybe also be psychological blocks  and or as they say “self-limiting beliefs” to why I haven’t been able to progress in my learning the things I want to.  People can learn to produce music on their own, or to use photoshop on their own.With books, the internets and even other people one could learn without having even go to school. But for some reason..

I should pray for clarity concerning what to do now.