Turning 30

 

So I turned 30 in April. Unfortunately it didn’t go down as I ‘d like. I wasn’t showered with praise nor did I celebrate with a bunch of friends. I didn’t have a cake or gifts given. As a matter of fact to be honest I don’t really have anyone I feel is friend. At its rudimentary level I think friends are people you enjoy being, hanging out with. You spend time together,  hang out. Talk.

Anyway,  I was very unhappy.  To top it off , it was my thirtieth birthday. There was no party or epic celebration of me reaching my third decade on this earth. It brought about a lot of feelings; I was utterly sad and upset  I tried to cheer myself up. I searched albeit late,  like the afternoon of my birthday , for birthday freebies. I called up denny’s about their grandslam and sure enough it was free, I ended up going there.

The worst part is I guess I didn’t feel comfortable with the small group I’ve attended ( though I missed like two weeks) to reveal that to them. Most of them are young and to be honest I don’t feel compatible with them for one or more reasons. But that day of my birthday I had some reasons to go and decided to go. I literally did not tell them it was my birthday. I felt embarrassed ashamed, like a loser…that on my thirtieth birthday I was spending it with them . I wondered had they known it was my thirtieth bithday would they have thought, is something wrong with me, dont I have friends my age to celebrate party with, and to top it of thirty it like a milestone birthday for me so..

Anyway, so I learned in the end. through what someone posted on a website ( this isnt the exact thread I got it from but I misplaced or didn’t save the site where I first realized this)  that unless of course you are doing something that makes you popular or famous, most people wont care or remember your birthday, you have to advertise it and let them know or even plan a party yourself.

Anyway at Denny’s I saw a couple old white couple that had been together 72 years. Yes 70 years they were like 19 I think when they married. Anyway they talked to the waiter who was 23 year old young African American guy, about how they met, him fighting it seems like in I think it was the Korean war. How the young woman helped look out for if he was coming back ( I think they too turns listening on a radio)

There they were still breathing eating and living life. They seemed to be simple people ; there was something about them, that simplicity. Sometimes maybe we make life complicated. She decided to do nursing and he became I think an educator for many years.

Anyway hearing them and witnessing them still alive after all these years. It seemed like they lived a pretty good life. It helped me realize that life doesn’t have to be over at 30. It’s sort of tough I guess society or pop culture values youth and I guess I have also ,..so I guess I attached value acceptance to being young. So once you are sort of leaving that bracket… In addition, I did not get to do a lot of things I would have liked to do in my twenties and to top it of worries.

I thought to myself God willing that could be me, thirty doesn’t have to be the end. Sure part of me thinks it sucks to get older but I mean there is still hope that you could live many years longer.  They are probably in their nineties and the husband used a walker. \

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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