Giving up…coming to the end of yourself

I had been slight addicted to watching Dave Ramsey videos and what he said in what vid spoke to me..

Husband Won’t Stop Investing in Baby Step 2

Specifically at around 3:50.. That’s probably part of or exactly what is meant what by the phrase “giving up” and “coming to the end of yourself”…

ha I thought he was being arrogant earlier in the beginning like as if his plan is the best way but as I got further along it made sense..

He said, “I dont know how to fix it ,could you show me how, and then you submit yourself to a plan”.  Using an example of hiring a fitness trainer he explained,  you submit your self to their system, because they have abs and you have a keg.

I know I haven’t really been sticking to the plan I feel God, Jesus and or His Spirit has been given to me.  I have a tendency perhaps to not stick to a plan. I then try to do other things that he did not counsel  me to do in hopes that it may work. But then you see you’ve been int the same place for years and frustrated and its like ..ok maybe you should really abandon all your other plans and at least focus on doing with full effort do what he told you to do.

Interestingly kind of reminds  Joyce Meyer teaching
How to Be Led By the Spirit

There may be more to the meaning of  giving up too – I’ve been told.. I’ve had a tendency to try to earn God’s love..  so it maybe related to stop trying to earn His love, which I need to seek what that means..or if anyone has any suggestions on how to practically not to do that I’d appreciate it.




Prayers.Income. Direction.

Please pray I will discover the an income source right for me. I am thinking  to take some courses at a community college to gain skills that could perhaps aid in creative endeavors but I cant help but wonder..some of the courses in the Associates ( graphic design) I can’t help but wonder if they are something necessary for me to do.. but

Proverbs 14:23
In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.

nevertheless I don’t want to waste time and energy,  if whereas my focus and energy could be better put to use somewhere else. Where that is *shrugs” I guess I need to pray with faith.. bottom line at this point in my life I need a career or income source to support myself and its important to help others with money I get.

Being full time student could make it harder to find a full time job in addition, juggling a full time job and full time school could throw my life balance off kilter and I’ve been  counseled to live a balanced life, a pace centered life, at the same time I am 30 years old. I don’t want to spend more time in school if I don’t have to . If I take full time course I could be done by this time next year or sooner. Taking the online courses the community college with courses that must be taken physically at the school may be less stressful than having to go down physically to the school.

I may have some financial aid in form of scholarships or grants, I am in a lot of debt from taking courses in classes, getting degrees I probably shouldn’t have taken or earned. Now I’m in a lot of debt. A lot. And if I take these courses full time I may have to get into more debt not as much but its still adds up.

To top it off I’m not crazy about graphic design, I like music production and video, I do like it a  bit though.  I don’t like the idea of working for a advertising agency or graphic design company. Maybe this sounds selfish but if you are going to be paid to do create someone elses design or vision not yours, can it still be fun or enjoyable? But perhaps somehow I feel the skills learned in the courses in this degree could help me do something else perhaps that would not require having to work for someone..perhaps I could publish my own stuff or something. Perhaps could do the certificate (less courses) but I am not sure if I can get financial aid for that..

Also due to some reasons I have not decided to pursue degree in music production. In addition it could be learned on my own.. Of course Graphic design could be learned on my own but I guess where I am in my life there may be an open door right now to take courses at the local community college and perhaps He may be approving me to do that. The question now i full time or part time.. If full time one more online course

In addition, I could uses this skills  to freelance graphic design ( Not what I want to do .. ) though but maybe I might have to due that for time until I  pave a path or be able to dow what I want…?

A big issue for me is perfectionism and wanting to be “great” at music production or video editing with the first content creations I make. In addition, other issues or circumstances I currently face, pressure and perhaps anxiety. #thatlifebalancethough

Any advice concerning my predicament would be helpful.