That one act of rejection, opened up pandora’s box. the question the realizations , the awareness of my actions and those around me , and the effect , the undercurrent that it is causing these effects to occur.
On Mother’s day, I reluctantly handed mom a mother’s day card. I perhaps signed it saying Happy mothers day. Earlier that morning I had debated whether I should give it to her without a gift, due to lack of preparation, forethought and concern as I was preoccupied with or engaged with other things in my life. I had not gotten mothers day gift prior to the big day. I figured I could get her something later that same day after work.
I half scared said Happy’s mother’s day. She was like,”What is that?” I sais something like it was like a card.
Long story short. She didn’t accept it. The day before that, she had talked about how a neighboring family were going to go out twice that day to eat for mothers day. I guess she felt not respected and I could see how that would upset her. Her children, myself included did not really plan anything special for her. I guess in essence we sold her short. We didn’t give her the best.our best.
I remember being held like in daze driving to work after the rejection. I thought of many things.
1. My birthday. I recently turned 30 in April. Thirty to me is a milestone birthday. Im not really young young per se. I sort of come closer and think about mortality and aging. It hasn’t been the easiest to deal with ( I know I should be grateful though … ). To make matters works though I didn’t celebrate it with friends. My brothers said a measly happy birthday and moved on with their lives They devoted perhaps 30 seconds no more no less to celebrating a rite of passage that was incredibly important to me. They didn’t give me perhaps what I was worth . They didn’t; give me there best. They didn’t show I was worth it. Which leads to next point
2. Giving your best. How could we have given our best to her? Obviously we could have giver her expensive gifts, money and taken her out to brunch. We could have honored her. We aren’t rich but with little planning and respect we could have done our best. But we didn’t we I guess our more thinking about concerned with out lives and “making it”. Little did they know that working together perhaps we could have made it… Anyway GiIving your best relates to next point
3. Cain and Abel offering.
Genesis 4:3-7 ESV
3 In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, 4 and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, 5 but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
If you are familiar with the story of Cain and Abel offering sacrifices to God you then know that Abel’s was accepted whilst Cains was not. From what I remember, one learning lesson to get from it is apparently Abel gave his best, while Cain did not it. It’s like being given the best aged steak with fine wine, compared to giving some vegetables that were left over after dinner. You get the drift. I felt a little like I didn’t give my best and my gift was not accepted which left me a bit unhappy. But then if I were honest, due to the lack of respect, acknowledgement time or devotion that my birthday got, I understood why she didn’t accept my card.
4. Reminds me of being hot or cold for Jesus ( Revelations 3:15-17). Perhaps it would have been better I had not given her a card, or that my brother’s just straight up ignored or refused to acknowledge my birthday then to have given a one line happy “obligatory” happy birthday to be nice and “respectable” which to be honest really lacks respect honor and worth. Reminds me of book Culture of honor. I haven’t read it but perhaps the book may deal with similar issue?
I blame or moan about others lack of respect, I myself have done the same. Something needs to change inside.
As I learned recently in a small group meeting, giving is a heart matter. The widow and two mites. The woman pouring and using expensive perfume on Jesus.
This also reminds me of the concept of”dead works” in scripture. ( which I don’t fully get but may have an idea of what it means). Fervency, passion and zeal or signs of love, respect and honor. Without that you get coldness or half -baked, half hearted attempts at “love” ..and who wants that?
All in all it reminds me when we are doing something for someone perhaps the rule could be if you can’t do your best or give your all , don’t do it all? shrugs. Who wants a half hearted attempt; it’s basically like trash, it lacks strength, and respect.