What to do now

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Sooooooo I am trying to figure out what kind of of job would be suitable for me. A job  that fits my personality, background, and spirit.  I have ideas of what that could be ( its creative related) however at this moment I’m not well practiced in those areas. Or I could just collaborate with others that are stronger in the areas in which I am weak.

I’ve applied to jobs in the field ( biology) but I’m not really interested in working as a lab tech.

I really wanted to do music production. .. for some reason I am not able to get a plan routine to learn skills needed to produce music. Or perhaps I am narrow minded in that it has to be done “this was” ( I want to learn music theory first, learn some instruments or at least one instrument for now) but at the same time I feel pressure to get income as soon as possible. It’d be great to get paid for producing original songs, but my experience ( music production wise) is fairly limited.  Perhaps I need to be realistic of what I could do now..

Yes, I could work with a producer but I am heavily influenced or inspired to be like Adam Young who produces most of his songs. Perhaps though if I did deeper its an ego thing. To want to be able to know that a piece of art or incredible awe inspiring moving song came from me.. OR of course I could just for now get a producer and then later on could work on producing myself. :/  Of course getting a producer to work on some music for you costs money. But obviously a well produced ep or album would be worth it..

To be honest I want to learn to do a lot of things by myself eg. videos, art pieces using adobe software and of course music production, perhaps with my vocals. Maybe I guess because I have different things I’d like to do that it feels difficult to know where to start. Also other things that or on my mind and situations I’m in.

I think there maybe also be psychological blocks  and or as they say “self-limiting beliefs” to why I haven’t been able to progress in my learning the things I want to.  People can learn to produce music on their own, or to use photoshop on their own.With books, the internets and even other people one could learn without having even go to school. But for some reason..

I should pray for clarity concerning what to do now.

 

Prayers.Income. Direction.

Please pray I will discover the an income source right for me. I am thinking  to take some courses at a community college to gain skills that could perhaps aid in creative endeavors but I cant help but wonder..some of the courses in the Associates ( graphic design) I can’t help but wonder if they are something necessary for me to do.. but

Proverbs 14:23
In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.

nevertheless I don’t want to waste time and energy,  if whereas my focus and energy could be better put to use somewhere else. Where that is *shrugs” I guess I need to pray with faith.. bottom line at this point in my life I need a career or income source to support myself and its important to help others with money I get.

Being full time student could make it harder to find a full time job in addition, juggling a full time job and full time school could throw my life balance off kilter and I’ve been  counseled to live a balanced life, a pace centered life, at the same time I am 30 years old. I don’t want to spend more time in school if I don’t have to . If I take full time course I could be done by this time next year or sooner. Taking the online courses the community college with courses that must be taken physically at the school may be less stressful than having to go down physically to the school.

I may have some financial aid in form of scholarships or grants, I am in a lot of debt from taking courses in classes, getting degrees I probably shouldn’t have taken or earned. Now I’m in a lot of debt. A lot. And if I take these courses full time I may have to get into more debt not as much but its still adds up.

To top it off I’m not crazy about graphic design, I like music production and video, I do like it a  bit though.  I don’t like the idea of working for a advertising agency or graphic design company. Maybe this sounds selfish but if you are going to be paid to do create someone elses design or vision not yours, can it still be fun or enjoyable? But perhaps somehow I feel the skills learned in the courses in this degree could help me do something else perhaps that would not require having to work for someone..perhaps I could publish my own stuff or something. Perhaps could do the certificate (less courses) but I am not sure if I can get financial aid for that..

Also due to some reasons I have not decided to pursue degree in music production. In addition it could be learned on my own.. Of course Graphic design could be learned on my own but I guess where I am in my life there may be an open door right now to take courses at the local community college and perhaps He may be approving me to do that. The question now i full time or part time.. If full time one more online course

In addition, I could uses this skills  to freelance graphic design ( Not what I want to do .. ) though but maybe I might have to due that for time until I  pave a path or be able to dow what I want…?

A big issue for me is perfectionism and wanting to be “great” at music production or video editing with the first content creations I make. In addition, other issues or circumstances I currently face, pressure and perhaps anxiety. #thatlifebalancethough

Any advice concerning my predicament would be helpful.