A lot going on..

So, recently I had the audacity to get a job at a call center.   Here is the issue:

I was working a part time in a position that perhaps was not fit for me. There were times it seems I should have gone to the hospital. I think I stressed myself out and sucked at pacing myself. In the end I thought this might be an ok job maybe even fun. But doing it for these many months, this was not something I wanted to keep doing ( that is an understatement) . I was drowning, I took whatever lifeboat I could get to not sink.

Through a temp agency I was interviewed and offered the position. I took it, without thinking thoroughly about what the job could entail: using headphones for an extended period of time like nearly 6-8 hours.  Now delving deeper,  the issue is  that I currently have tinnitus and its probable it was caused in part due to listening to music high volume on headphones.  In hindsight I think I bought terrible headphones. I remember wanting the bass to be louder or more bombastic; I would increase the volume loud and maybe also as a result of not thinking I could hear the midrange. ( case in point if you use headphones get good ones, even if they cost more.)

I have nearly quit using headphones as a result. Now I talked to an ENT about using headphones. She informed me I could use headphones as long as it’s kept at a good volume something like that.  However I’ve never discussed with her working at call center full time.

I learned from an online search that an issue with call centers can be as a result of  loud noise , the agent increasing the volume to hear the caller. Thankfully I am in corner office albeit with another inbound agent, nevertheless, I dont expect it to be loud in there.

Nevertheless , during shadowing other agents, I did notice my ears being effected. My left ear vibrates. And I remember one day in particular, it going of the wall. However if I am to be on my own, I  can try to put it on a low volume.

The other thing that is annoying is the random call picks from quality insurance that will be judged every month. It’s  little nerve-racking, nevertheless I guess it keeps us accountable..

All in all I don’t want to continue doing this job but due to mounting financial pressures and the other job I had before,  I took this position without wondering how this could affect my hearing.

Currently looking  for other jobs, but I feel they aren’t for me. Perhaps maybe my view of full time work or jobs has to change or maybe I just want something honestly that I like.

Oh and then on the home life front smh maybe I do need to get my own place living on my own.

 

Disclaimer: the views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, organization, committee or other group or individual.

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Update..graphic design..music production

I thought that I would not continue with graphic design courses at the local community college.  I could learn it on my own.

Then I got fired from a job full time job in July. It didn’t pay great but it was better than what i’d ever had before. After being fired, I panicked and for some reasons, I decided I’d go to the local community college full time.

It was not easy. Two were online. One would think online is easier, but I got waaaaaaaay behind. Painfully behind. Because I would not watch the class live online. I hated watching classes after 7:00 pm. I’d instead decide to watch them “later”. There are videos I haven’t watched yet and the semester is over. Though those videos were like the last class(es) so technically they may have not been needed for the final assignments. There maybe like three videos I haven’t watched yet  2 from one class and 1 from another class.

Add to the drama of full time classes, a part time job that was crappy for me, you’ve got a recipe for hell on earth especially for someone still not perfect at time management. I ran into serious problems this season. Thank God the classes have ended, unfortunately I still have the job…you may ask why not quit and get another one.. * rolls eyes and sighs*

On the other hand, the classes did help me learn adobe programs. Literally every class had an adobe product attached to it. Lightroom.Photoshop. Illustrator. Premier.

So its great that I’ve sort of got something like a foundation upon which to build or create something. Creative content. Nevertheless there is this one dragon I’ve been trying to lay a hold off. I feel like a guy trying to hold or grab ahold of a dragon by the neck, that’s crazily moving its head back and forth. I’m trying to lay hold of it but I guess it feels like it’s hard for me to get grasp or hold on it, maybe it keeps slipping, gliding from my hand.

The dragon is music production and what other things that entail it. I’d care to learn piano, and guitar too. I mean I know that there are people who taught themselves how to play more than one instrument. Music theory seems like something I should learn a bit of too.

I seem to be up against several things stopping me from grasping it. When one is worried about finances and not pulling it in enough money to cover all their bills, it’s hard to concentrate on something that isn’t going to bring in money soon. I feel like I’ve got to get money soon ..it’s really, really bad like it’s getting near where it could turn into an emergency.

Unfortunately I wasn’t my own man and got degrees and a whole lot of school debt, for subjects that I probably shouldn’t have studied…

Terminated.

So recently I got terminated. It hurts, I feel my identity was affected; I feel kind of stupid and dumb. The catcher is that this is kind of like the second time this year for similar or same reason. Needless to say I have to get to the root of this issue. I was told in a dream by one of my brothers the reason was “Terror” that I should study something ( Genesis 1-3?) . I think he also  said something  laughing that I was scared of robots ( sometimes dreams don’t always make sense). I think  if I study that perhaps I could free from “terror”. (seems like what my brother may have said or implied).

Both times its because of not really successfully completing the training process. Making mistakes. It’s like people think I’m stupid. Unfortunately,  I was way to honest with my employers.. smh. When I made mistakes or was afraid that I did, I let them know. But then again its true there was a lot of fear. But to be honest, both jobs I didn’t feel were for me. This one I was informed also that the supervisor didn’t think I was a good fit for the team.

In addition , I read perhaps it could ADD or ADHD. I searched online for stories of other who were deemed slow learners and being fired for it, something like that.

I noticed in both jobs I seemed to project lack of confidence based on what those in charge of my training would convey.  Both jobs I wasn’t particularly comfortable but there was fear ( terror to be exact).

But, perhaps also since I did not really care for the jobs ,  I did not take them as seriously as I should eg ( studying outside of work making a concrete plan protocol for carrying out my work duties. ). I guess I felt at this job it wasn’t that hard, that within time I could completely pick it up and get comfortable with it.  Perhaps, if I had wrote things down in right good order, and tried to follow the same order time always, then maybe I could have learned faster.  Now that I think of it, it may have been  a culmination of other little things along with the bad time management and efficiency issue that may have resulted in my termination. They gave me the opportunity to resign in lieu of discharge but I did not choose that.

To top it off the stress  soo much . It was sooooo bad, I hate to think of what would have been if I had not been terminated. I really felt the effects smh,

Looking back, I feel it was not for me, perhaps this is an opportunity, ( I know its an opportunity) to do something else, and I should  honestly deal with what causing this terror issue. Perhaps too a regularly job like a 9-5 is not for me,